Back to Contents

Flirting 101
 

Flirting offers opportunities to have fun and scope out or eliminate potential dates. Focus primarily on the fun aspect. Don’t start a flirtation looking for a marriage partner or even expecting a date. Keep it light, think playful thoughts and have a good time. Here are a few tips to get you started.

1)     Be approachable. Relax and smile. Just like Mom always said, stand up straight. Keep your arms open and not crossed. Keep your hands out of your pockets. Dress for comfort and confidence. Make sure your breath is fresh and you smell pleasant without overdosing on the cologne.

2)     Read your flirting partner’s body language. Do they look approachable? Are they interested?

3)     Make eye contact. Make sure you smile so you don’t creep anyone out and keep it brief. Look back again and if the other person meets your eyes, they are probably interested.

4)     Start a conversation. A simple hi works well or a compliment. Try a unique observation if you want something more challenging. Keep it light and positive. If they respond positively, move on to the next step.

5)     Share information. Don’t dive right in divulging your personal information. Start small and get a little deeper gradually. Take turns. Ask open-ended questions. Share a little more than the other person each time. Focus on things you have in common to make a connection.

6)     Give them your undivided attention. Laugh at their jokes and stories. Listen attentively. Ask questions. Bring up things they have already mentioned to show you are listening. Don’t be distracted by what’s going on around you or by other people.

7)     Use your body language. Touch their arm briefly. Be careful, though. Not everyone likes to be touched by people they don’t know. Women are especially hesitant to allow a man to enter their personal space. Stop immediately if you get a negative response.

8)     Use humor. Laughing together helps people feel more comfortable with each other.

9)     Wrap it up. If the other person seems interested, get their number or set up a date, then take your leave. If there’s no connection make a quick, graceful exit. There are plenty of other fish in the sea.

How to Talk to Your Kids 

Talking to children can sometimes feel like communicating with aliens. Yet it’s not all that difficult to speak and understand their language. Here’s some good advice for conversing with kids at any age:

• Make eye contact. This conveys interest and respect. With smaller children, sit at their level so they don’t have to constantly look up to you.

• Use “I” statements. The best way to communicate your feelings — positive or negative — to children is to tell them clearly what you feel. “When you do this, I feel that.” Avoid accusing or blaming.

• Listen attentively. Make time to hear your children. Stop what you’re doing so you can focus on them exclusively. Draw them out with phrases that show your interest: “Tell me more . . . Why do you think that happened? . . . How did that make you feel?”

• Repeat what they say. Make sure you understand and show that you’re taking them seriously by repeating back what they tell you: “You mean that you did . . ?”

• Encourage them. When you offer advice, or correct them, let them know you believe in them and their ability to do things. Kids need to feel you accept them and encouraging words tell them you’re on their side.